Thursday 17 November 2011
The Banker Spoiler on the 149
Tell me - why is there always someone who spoils it for everyone? Lovely quiet book readers on the rare sedated 149 bus going south to Borough for a book launch and we get to The City and then Booming Over-Bred Dickhead Banker gets on and thunders into his G4 about absolutely nothing of any consequence whatsoever to, like, a friend of his? I turn 180 and stare at him and he blanks me so I keep staring at him and I can tell he starts losing the thread because his concentration levels are by now ever so slightly diminished. He can't look at me but starts to blush and stumble on his words and his interestingly stiff and elevated hair flattens itself in shame as if it wants to disown him, escape even, but it can't because it's attached to his thick over-gelled skull, and then, magically, his expensive ill-fitting clothes slowly unwrap themselves from his young, pudgy, over-ripe body and make their way downstairs eagerly waiting for the next stop. This is making him look even more stupid as he sits there naked with rich tears tumbling down his ruddy well-fed cheeks. By now, folk are pointing and laughing at this turgid mess. It's marvellous. I wonder how far he has to go? London Bridge please! All those people...
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